Little stitches

I just got back from a really great buying trip for work.  I get to go to the Tucson Gem and Jewelry show every year and buy lots of beautiful pieces.  I travel with a dear friend and coworker.  It was timed perfect this year because it was the six days before my period.  I decided to not bring any preggo tests with me.  You know, just let it go and have fun.  And I did.  But, of course I thought about the possibilities everyday.  I thought maybe I am pregnant!  I try to think positive because I do believe it helps you get what you want. But it is so scary to think that.  The let down is so harsh, that it has become almost impossible for me to really believe it.  But I didn't get down.  I had a lot to distant me that is for sure!  Like the ten grand my boss gave me to shop!  On my way home, my period came.  I didn't feel crushed this time, just let down.  Every month this happens, a little piece of my heart breaks.  Like little tears in my heart.  And every month I stitch tiny stitches to hold it together.  I take a breath and try to put it back together.  There are 20 breaks in my little heart.  And 20 spots I have carefully tried to put back together.