Friday, May 25, 2012
I always thought that if I was going to be good at one thing in life, it was going to be being a mother. Somehow, all of my shortcomings everywhere else was going to be made up with how great I was pregnant and as a mother. It was all going to come to me so naturally. Well, I'm starting to doubt all of that. Just another thing that infertility is robbing me of. I see new mothers and think, "they are so much better at this than I probably would". I mean, I can't even get pregnant. I know, I know, chin up. What if I was the worst pregnant woman? What if my hormones rage out of control and no one can stand to be around me? Or what if I have a baby and am not able to handle it? What if it's all too much? After all the ups and downs the past two years of ttc, I don't know how good I am at handling much. Could I have a baby, a full time job, and a house to keep up? I don't know anymore. I have had too much time to over think all of this.