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Simple girl looking for the one thing that I have been wanting my whole life, a child. Sounds easy right? Well, not the case here...

Friday, May 25, 2012


I always thought that if I was going to be good at one thing in life, it was going to be being a mother.  Somehow, all of my shortcomings everywhere else was going to be made up with how great I was pregnant and as a mother.  It was all going to come to me so naturally.  Well, I'm starting to doubt all of that.  Just another thing that infertility is robbing me of.  I see new mothers and think, "they are so much better at this than I probably would".  I mean, I can't even get pregnant.  I know, I know, chin up.  What if I was the worst pregnant woman?  What if my hormones rage out of control and no one can stand to be around me?  Or what if I have a baby and am not able to handle it?  What if it's all too much?  After all the ups and downs the past two years of ttc, I don't know how good I am at handling much.  Could I have a baby, a full time job, and a house to keep up?  I don't know anymore.   I have had too much time to over think all of this.

1 comment:

  1. I was talking to one of my friends about why insurance companies consider fertility treatments to be 'optional' treatment. She said, "Its not like they are going to be bad parents! If they are trying this hard to have babies, they are obviously going to take good care of them!"
    I think you'll do great when the time comes! :)