About Me
- infertilemyrtle
- Simple girl looking for the one thing that I have been wanting my whole life, a child. Sounds easy right? Well, not the case here...
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Again
Its funny, when i started this blog i didn't think anyone would see it. So I figured i would just vent all the time. I was thinking the other day that I shouldn't be such a downer on here. What? How silly. Of course I'm not always like this. It is the fact that I am not always down that made this such a special place. I can feel anyway and not be worried about how people perceive me. I'm still having a hard time with the new baby coming up in a month in my family. I really hope the boy is not born on my anniversary. I know, silly right. Not really. It's my day right now. Okay, I'm feeling a little worked up because I just had to go shopping for baby shower wrapping and cards. Then I came home and wrapped all the adorable baby things I have collected for my sister in law. I couldn't help it, I started to tear up folding the tiny baby clothes. Yup crying now. Sometimes it can just hurt so much. The clothes are so little and so cute. I can imagine putting the tiny t shirt on a sweet chubby baby belly. I also got these ridiculous tiny infant Northface baby booties that look like hiking boots. Are you kidding me? They make you melt with cuteness. I haven't felt sad or cried like this for a little bit now. But bam! There it is. And I am so happy for them too. I feel sort of bad because I wish I could have been there more through the whole thing. I have kind of removed myself from my sister-in-law and the whole pregnancy. I don't even think I could handle her baby shower this weekend. Actually she is having two I would be going to. But I am going to my other sister-in-laws graduation from college instead. It kind of works out perfect because the other sis I am going to see has been ttc for almost eight years. We kind of need each other this weekend. Perfect timing! I think this next month will be trying for me and when Ethan is born next month, I think I may have some "moments". I hate that. But I know I can't avoid it. So, sorry if the subject gets old, I sure everyone understands:) Thanks to everyone and all their kind replies. It really does help me through these moments! Love you guys!
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I know how you feel, some days I am totally fine then some days only crying it out can help! and always remember this is your blog, you say what you want and how you feel! that is why it's here! and we are here to cheer you up and root you on! sending much love!
ReplyDeleteAlexis~
Sometimes nothing will make you feel better except a good cry, I think we all get that. I know this next month is going to be difficult for you, use all of us as a crutch as much as you need to :)
ReplyDeleteI have those days too, where it all just gets to me and I can't hold the tears in anymore. I certainly don't think you are a downer. :) Often your feelings help me to validate my own and for that I am thankful! Hope brighter days are headed your way soon, even with all of the upcoming stress!
ReplyDeleteA good cry is sometimes needed believe me I've been there and I'm not much of a crier. I certainly don't think you are always a downer on here you are just being honest about your feelings so keep sharing! Hugs to you my dear!
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog through some other infertility blogs - I myself am struggling with this same horrible situation. My sister got pregnant - like the day she went off BC - and she's due any day now. I have completely ignored the fact that she's even pregnant, but I know that will be impossible when the baby finally comes. I dread that phone call. It's something no one can understand if they haven't experienced infertility. Yes, I'm happy for her and her husband. But, most of me rages with jealousy when I think about their soon-to-be happy little family. I will be thinking of you....good luck with everything.
ReplyDeleteSamantha
www.thestrollercoaster.com
OMG how funny that your sis in law is pg so is mine and she's due on my wedding anniversary as well!!! us infertile mirtles need to stick together check my blog out too :) downtobabydancin
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