About Me

My photo
Simple girl looking for the one thing that I have been wanting my whole life, a child. Sounds easy right? Well, not the case here...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

keep going right...

So, I have this blog to just rant and purge.  I actually felt like I didn't have a right to do this because I haven't been trying long enough compared to so many women I have read about.  And I haven't ventured into the world of infertility doctors and clinics.  Honestly, I am scared of that road.  My hormones are so crazy when they are on their own without birth control, that adding to that scares me.  I wouldn't be able to live my life.  It is already keeping me from loving life right now!  How would I be able to keep my marriage together and run my store feeling even crazier?  I'm just barely holding on now.  I have tried lots of other things to help me along the way.  Changed my diet.  Quit smoking.  Started working out.  Started doing fertility yoga with a new therapist who also was helping me through emotional stuff.  Massage, cranial sacral work, myofascial release, acupuncture.  I've taken every vitamin, mineral, and herb for fertility.  I visualize happiness.  I pee on a stick everyday it feels like for half of the month.  I chart.  I lift my hips with a pillow, but not too much. I've seen the doctor.  My husband has had his semen analyzed.  He is on a regiment of herbs and vitamins.  I've tried pre seed.  Even with all of this I was feeling like I had no right to complain since I haven't entered the world of clomid and daily shots.  But it doesn't matter to me any more.  I have to get this out.  I have to say it all out loud and this is the closest I can come.

1 comment:

  1. Just found your blog....and wanted to say to you, this is your journey. You can't feel bad about that and you shouldn't let anyone make you feel bad about getting it all off your chest.

    ReplyDelete