This is it.

So here it is.  My first post on this blog.  Well, my first blog really.  I guess I just needed a secret spot to really put out there all the feelings I've been having about my infertilty problems.  Now just need a place to start.  I guess the beginning will do.  I'm 33 years old about to turn 34 in a month.  I have been married to my amazing husband for almost four years.  We decided to start trying for a baby eighteen months ago, a year and a half. A year before we started actively trying I took myself off birth control.  Deciding to try for a baby was one of the most exciting decisions I have ever made.  Finally!  After dreaming of this my whole life, it was going to happen. I was going to be a mom! I was so optimistic.  It was perfect.  Baby making sex was amazing!  It had this beautiful purpose that we both shared in.  Ahhh, that was an incredible time;)  But that seems like a long time ago.  The first few negative pregnancy tests were a bummer.  But no big deal right?  I had been pregnant once, it was the wrong time, the wrong guy and I felt fine with the choice I made not to have it.  So I kept thinking this should be easy.  And I just kept on thinking that for a few more months...